okay so as i was like on my way home from viannes birthday.. naalala ko nanaman yung lagi kong tinatanong to myself and to my dad and na hindi ko talaga maintindihan.. cause diba yung mga corrupt officials diba they have their wives/husbands? or like families dba? their sons and daughters. sooo wala lang parang wala bang mga moral value yung mga tao sa paligid nila to remind them that what theyre doing is wrong? i mean seriously? i get na parang their like benefiting from it din but like.. what?

cause if it was my dad who was corrupt. i would like make him takwil. as in itatakwil ko siya as my father.. diba? parang its like if you know someone is doing something bad wouldnt you want to stop that person? ganun lang din if youre corrupt diba? or am i not making any sense and katangahan lang tong sinasabi ko?

im really bothered eh. kasi diba like gloria. her daughter luli or whatever the correct spelling is.. isnt she bothered by what her mom is doing?? i mean not as the president na ah. like HER OWN MOTHER. imagine your mom cheating on your dad. its like that but except STEALING FROM MILLIONS OF FILIPINOS. wouldnt you get pissed at your mom or like something. well i really dont know baka naman sinasabihan din nya yung mom nya or something but wtf shes not doing anything. but you hindi ko parin alam and i have no right to judge her BUT STILL. this goes for everyone who has like relatives or friends or whatever sa government.. or like anywhere. na corrupt. diba? waahh. i just dont get it. ang gulo ng Pilipinas ngayon. well not only now as in like before pa.

and eto pa ah. were supposed to be a Catholic nation right? but like Oh God naman diba parang tayo yung 3rd or siguro now number 1 na sa corrupt countries or something. what does that mean? wala bang natuturo yung simbahan ngayon? and waah didnt the issue of the suhol thing just came out with father panlilio? waah. well he was saying na parang if the money is some kind of suhol hes gonna give it back cause hes a man of like faith or something. ganyan ganyan. well i believe him naman. wala lang. 

homaga nalalabuan na tuloy ako sa sinasabi ko. im reaaally really asar kasi. waah:(( what is happening to the world? tapos not only the corruption thing ah. super daming rape cases na bata yung nirirape. well its just as bad if matanda or dalaga na yung nirape. but like wahhh:(( tapos i was watching the news while i was eating dinner i couldnt bear to listen to the old man's explanation of what happened! i was like covering my ears and i really wanted to cry! i mean seriously what is wrong with the world? and wtf is wrong with me? waah:((

anyway. so on the way home from makati and that was like for an hour i kept asking myself kung bat ganun? why why why?? wala na ba tayong conscience? seryoso? parang like even just cheating on a test (which i vowed NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER to do again) like kahit ONE item lang. its the small scale thing of being a corrupt official and stealing the money of people. so anyway back to my point na its like cheating on a test. parang it starts there once you start cheating the next time youre gonna say na to yourself na its not a big deal, ive done that before.. so like in being corrupt once you start.. youre gonna say na whatever ive done this before. this goes with every bad thing a person does.. its like pringles once you pop you cant stop waah i couldnt help adding that. haha:))

tapos today like a few hours ago my dad was watching the explainer on anc the one with manolo quezon.. his guest was JDV. so he was like moral revolution thing with gloria na he keeps on telling her na she could be the best president this country could ever have. so i was thinking wtf. if she wants that shes doing a really bad job. cause like everyone hates her about 10% lang ng country natin ang may gusto sakanya and yun lang yung binabayaran nya! soo eww. so he was talking about a moral revolution diba? even if i dont really trust him cause hes glorias puppy as well. what he is saying is what we need. a moral revolution. to change our country. wala lang kasi like seriously parang wala na tayong moral values na natitira satin eh. like konti nalang ang meron. which is sooo sad. makes me wanna kill everyone! hahah:))

yeah ive thought of that. lol. killing everyone so that may bagong race of people na are good:) just like what God did nung time ni Noah. sana mangyari ulit yun. but like im scared. niew i wish i hadnt thought of that. now im scared and its 2.30am. waah:(( pero diba para naman may good ulit sa mundo. parang wala na kasi eh. so sad again:((

even im mean! wah:( so sad so sad. yes i admit i have gone to the bad side:( lol parang star wars:(( yeah but lately im super mean i dunno why. it must be because im not really praying anymore and parang i have lost the will to be religious and stuff:(( wahh i feel bad thinking about it. i shall cleanse myself. wahh this is so lame. but seriously ever since like.. i dunno after the retreat thingy nung june. hindi na ako nakapagdasal ng seryoso. even on my bday. which was so bad pala. i mean i still go to mass and serve as a lector but like i dont mean it anymore:(( omg i wanna kill myself. i have gone to the bad side nga:(( wahh:(( kill me. now. omg im seriously gonna repent this sem break.

im gonna start tom! i swear after i clean my room fix my stuff:D yey. i can finally have my room back:) after that im gonna start my old me:D siguro thats why ive been having bad luck noh? cause ive been bad:( or not but like still not really bad luck? but like. bad stuff have been happening to me. tsk tsk. hayy bad mich. well im not really like bad but ive been mean. waah:(( kill me. haha;))

back to the moral revolution thing. i want na pagmatanda na ako and have the resources and like the power to do something, ill start a moral revolution of some kind. if i could just do that now i would. but you know you have to start with yourself. so this sembreak.. im gonna be my new old self. new kasi mas okay kaysa sa old and old kasi im gonna go back to my old nice ways:) hahah:))

wah i forgot na yung ibang gusto kong sabihin. if only i had like something that can make me remember everything i think about.waah. i really do think too much. sana lagi akong may dalang laptop so i can like type stuff up when i suddenly think of something. waah. haha;)) anyhoo its almost 3. scary time.

(SORRY IF MAGULO, CAUSE LIKE IM REALLY TROUBLED. so i cant write properly what i want to say. heehee)